Why am I a Comedian?

Posted by on September 17, 2010

As I get older I see myself as a comedian. Things just pop into my head when someone speaks to me. Is this part of my “Turn our brain off” theory? Or just a sign of old age, a return to my childhood. Hopefully I can get some answers by writing this blog.

This thing all started when I discovered that I have a right brain. The side of me that does not think. I have wrote several blogs about this subject. Most of them center on how to be an innovator and create new things.


1. My Brain as a Innovator:

2. Turn Your Brain Off:

OK! Time for some recent stories where I make a fool of myself. I am having breakfast at a local restaurant. The waiter is very attentive and asking all kinds of questions. How was you day? Can I get you anything? Can I get you something to drink?

Of course my answer to “How are you?” is, “I feel terrible today”. This just happened to me today. I’m at Macy’s waiting for two woman to finish looking at womans stuff. The attendant ask me how are you? And I answer her, “This is one of my worst days, I feel miserable”. Her response to me is “You are the first person ever to tell me they are measurable”. Well think of it, I’m just waiting around in the woman’s department while my wife and friend spend hours just looking at things. Am I suppose to be happy?

If someone ask me “Did you find everything you were looking for?”. Of course I’m going to answer. “I was looking money but I didn’t find any”. They always laugh and respond, “ We don’t carry that product.” or “If you find some let me know.”

Getting back to our restaurant story, I’m about to pay the check and there is a sign that reads “Kids Eat Free”. I ask the cashier if she would define the word “Kids”. Why would I need to do that? Well I’m a kid by my own definition and I should qualify for a free meal. I get a scowling look and some kind of a comment that you have to under 10 years old. Mmm! Isn’t that age discrimination?
I’m at a yard sale and the owner of the house was selling a book that she wrote about the ten things an artist should know. In my mind I think “Ahh! Heres a person who has no left brain.” I make the comment, All an artist needs to know is don’t think, just let it flow. Then I make the stupid mistake that artist don’t have a left logical brain. That means that art is a no brainier. Right? My conclusion is that you can’t tell a person with no logical brain to turn it off. If they’ve never had one, how can you turn it off? Anyway the conversation ends and we are all laughing and having fun.

The question is, “Where is all this stuff coming from that just pops into my head?” It comes from my right brain. I’m not thinking so I’m free to create or innovate. See: “My Brain as an Innovator” and See: “Turn Your brain off.” Or another reason this could be happening is that in my old age, I don’t have a thinking brain anymore. I’ve lost it and I have returned to my second childhood.

Now we know that can’t be the answer. I was to bashful to even open my mouth when I was a kid. I was a thinker not a talker. It must be that as I get older I become more intelligent. I have learned to turn my thinking brain off and turn my talking brain on. Yep! That’s it. Now my next move is that I’m going to run for Governor of Arizona or my be the Mayor of Phoenix. We need a good politician that can think before they talk.

My platform is:
1. There is no absolute true in the world, and that is absolutely true.
2. Go for a walk out doors. Explore a new environment.
3. Play computer games. Freecell keeps my intuitive brain working.
4. Do volunteer work. A great thing to do to get the runners high.
5. You can not listen if you talk.
6. And the most important. Turn your brain off.

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